24 April, 2025 / DANA WILSON-SZUCS & REBECCA LOUGHEED
Aviation psychology

Self-Awareness as a Pilot’s Superpower - Part 2

Emotional Intelligence and the Human Side of Flying

In aviation, technical skills are a given. They are essential. But that's not the whole story. What often sets truly effective pilots apart isn’t just how well they fly the aircraft—it’s how well they understand themselves and work with others. In part I of our self-awareness series, we looked at why this kind of insight—into your own behaviours, reactions, and patterns—is so important in the cockpit. In part II, we’re expanding that focus to explore Emotional Intelligence (EI): the ability to understand and manage not just your own emotions, but also the interpersonal dynamics that unfold in flight.

EI supports clear thinking, strong leadership, and effective teamwork. From a psychological perspective, emotional intelligence can be a quiet game-changer: when it’s present, pilots lead, communicate, and adapt more effectively. When it’s lacking, performance can quickly erode—even if technical skills remain strong.

Emotional intelligence and its role in the cockpit

Psychologist Daniel Goleman breaks it down into five key components:

- Self-awareness – noticing what you’re feeling and why
- Self-regulation – managing emotions rather than being driven by them
- Motivation – staying focused and committed, even under pressure
- Empathy – tuning in to how others are feeling
- Social skills – communicating and connecting effectively with those around you

All five of these play out constantly in the cockpit. In fact, they’re at the heart of good Crew Resource Management.

Clear, confident communication is essential for flight safety. But effective CRM isn’t just about what’s said—it’s also about what’s felt. Emotional intelligence helps pilots stay calm under pressure, pick up on subtle cues from others, and adjust their tone or approach when needed.

Imagine a first officer spots something concerning but hesitates to speak up—possibly due to a rigid cockpit atmosphere. A captain with limited emotional intelligence may miss the hesitation, and a chance to prevent an error is lost. In contrast, emotionally intelligent leaders foster open communication from the start, making it easier for others to speak up when it matters most.

Leadership, assertiveness, and EI

Emotionally intelligent leadership isn’t about having all the answers or dominating the conversation—it’s about knowing when to speak up, when to listen, and how to adapt to those around you.

This idea is well-supported in psychology. Transformational leadership theory, for example, highlights the importance of leaders who inspire and support others, paying attention to the emotional needs of their team. In the cockpit, that looks like a captain who leads decisively when that is required, but also takes the time to check in, invite input, and stay aware of how the crew is coping when time permits—especially during high workload or fatigue.

This kind of leadership creates psychological safety, where people feel comfortable speaking up or admitting mistakes. When crews feel safe, communication improves, errors are caught early, and decisions are stronger.

Crucially, EI doesn’t automatically increase with flight hours. Experience alone doesn’t necessarily lead to emotional growth—it takes conscious effort. Reflection, being open to feedback, and tools like personality assessments help bridge that gap.

When it goes wrong—and when it doesn’t

Sadly, in aviation, it’s the bad events we tend to hear about—the times things didn’t go right. And all too often, a recurring factor is at play.

Take the 2010 crash of an Afrique Airways A330 on approach to Tripoli. The crew descended below minima without being visual, received a “Too Low Terrain” warning, attempted a go-around, became disoriented, and crashed just short of the runway.

That’s what happened—but why?

As always, there were multiple contributing factors, but one really stands out. As they reached decision altitude, the first officer asked the captain whether to continue descending. The captain simply replied, “continue.” Still uncertain, the FO repeated the “300” callout and then asked, “I’ll go-around, Captain?”—but still kept descending. Even when the EGPWS warning triggered, he hesitated. It’s clear the FO was deeply uncomfortable making decisions without the captain’s approval.

This suggests a steep cockpit gradient—something we see time and time again in accidents. Air India Express 1344, United 1273, KLM 4805 (Tenerife), TransAsia 222, Korean Air 8509, Korean 801, Air Florida 90, Avianca 52, Asiana 214... the list goes on.

A steep cockpit gradient often stems from a lack of emotional intelligence and leadership skills—especially from the captain, who sets the tone and really has the most influence over this. Poor emotional intelligence reduces communication and this further masks the emotional cues of others.

But we only seem to hear about when it goes wrong. So here’s a personal story about when it went right.

I’d just come off line training on the A330. Up to that point, my flying had been mostly easy destinations, handpicked by trainers. Before that, I flew the Avro RJ85 between London and Amsterdam on repeat. I was really new to the slippery A330 and hadn’t yet flown into anything especially challenging.

Then came Beirut.

Beirut’s RNAV approach required disconnecting early, switching off the flight directors, and hand-flying the final 1,000 feet in hot, bumpy air. I was nervous—and too embarrassed to admit it. My coping mechanism was to brief excessively, anxiously covering every foot of the approach in the hope the captain would really monitor me. Most never picked up on this. I heard “You’re flying, do it how you like” more times than I can count.

But this captain was different. He noticed—not just what I was saying, but how I was saying it. He picked up on my nerves and confidence levels. He didn’t judge (I was signed off, after all so should have been fine), and he didn’t try to train me. He just said, “Don’t worry—we’ll fly it together. If you’re not happy at any point, I’ll take it. But I think you’ll do your best landing yet.”

Maybe not those exact words, but that’s the general gist of it (it was a fair few years ago now). He sensed my unspoken discomfort and used his emotional intelligence to create support, not pressure. That moment stuck with me. It reminded me how powerful leadership can be when it’s grounded in empathy, awareness, and quiet confidence.

Ego states: How we show up under pressure

One of the more fascinating ways psychology shows up in the cockpit is through Transactional Analysis, developed by psychiatrist Eric Berne. It proposes that we shift between three ego states: the Parent, the Adult, and the Child —each shaping how we think, feel, and behave in the moment.

These states aren’t about rank or age—they’re responses to what’s happening around (and within) us. And in high-stress environments like aviation, these shifts can significantly influence cockpit dynamics.

- The Parent: This might be the captain who, when something goes wrong, defaults to a controlling response—“You should know better than that!” Or, on the other end, the “nurturing parent” might let you off the hook entirely, maybe even jumping in to fix the problem themselves. It can come from a supporting place, but if overdone, it can prevent the other pilot from learning or stepping up. One can slip into this role if they feel the need to reassert control, especially when things feel chaotic or unsafe.
- The Child: The Child ego state can show up in more reactive ways. Think of the pilot who gets defensive, blames others, or emotionally shuts down, usually when they feel judged, overwhelmed, or uncertain. But it’s not all negative—it’s also the part of us that brings curiosity and enthusiasm, like when learning something new or tackling a fresh challenge.
- And the Adult: This is the ideal state for most cockpit interactions: calm, objective, and solution-focused. A captain might say, “Let’s take a look at what happened so we can avoid it next time.” A first officer, after making an error, might respond, “I see what I missed—I’ll double-check that next time.” No defensiveness, no panic—just awareness, accountability, and learning.

For more examples, a captain stuck in the critical Parent role might unknowingly shut down communication. A first officer in a Child state may comply too quickly or hesitate to speak up—even when it matters. From a psychological perspective, we often shift into the Parent or Child state because of unconscious patterns formed through early experiences (how you behaved as a child, what examples did you see from authority figures such as parents, caretakers, teachers). Under stress, fatigue, or uncertainty, the brain tends to default to these familiar coping mechanisms. 

That is why we need to pause and check in with ourselves: Am I reacting from clarity, emotion, or control? Staying grounded in the Adult state helps keep communication calm and effective. If someone else becomes reactive, don’t match their tone—respond steadily and focus on facts. Neutral phrases like “Let’s take a look together” or “What’s your view?” can lower tension and encourage open dialogue. And after the flight, a quick reflection on what ego state you were in—and why—can strengthen your self-awareness for next time.

That’s why the Adult state is so powerful. When everyone in the cockpit is operating from that grounded, balanced mindset, communication flows, decisions are thoughtful, and collaboration thrives. There’s no need for ego or defensiveness—just a shared focus on safety, learning, and doing the job well.

Final thoughts: Emotional intelligence and self-development

Like self-awareness, emotional intelligence isn’t something you either have or don’t—it’s something you build. Experience can certainly help, but only if it’s paired with reflection, openness to feedback, and a willingness to grow.
One valuable tool in that process is the 16 Personality Factor questionnaire (16PF). It offers insight into how you tend to lead and communicate —key elements of emotional intelligence in the cockpit. The 16PF is a great place to start if you want to understand your interpersonal style under pressure—whether you're already flying or on the path to becoming a pilot. Because the more you understand yourself, the better you lead—and the safer and more connected your flight deck becomes.
Our Advanced Interview Course teaches more than just "how to answer interview questions", it helps you understand you, and includes access to our 16PF questionnaire.

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